Soulstar Speaks

Apathy

2010-04-22T02:31:00.000-07:00

we live in a time
where apathy is welcome
with open arms
compassion thrown by the wayside
Corinthians said without love
we are nothing at all
but the love is dying
all to feed our foolish pride

the state of the world
is failing fast
at this rate, we won't last
much longer than this
we'll cease to exist

can we get back to the genesis?

Michael Joe

2009-06-27T13:28:00.000-07:00

His given name was Michael Joe
from the 219 area code
the seventh of nine, but showed
immense talent at 6 years old...
Raped of his childhood
and completely misunderstood
without the foundation that could
keep him grounded in Hollywood...

Surviving everything the world
could throw at him and more
he continued to spread his love
and gift for the language of music
doing his part to make the world
a better place for you and me
and the entire human race...

However futile his efforts were,
due to the greedy nature of said world
only looking for the next minstrel show
to entertain their sorry souls,
true artistry never dies.

Michael inspired a generation
of artists and singers and musicians
to make music for the soul
Regardless of his behavior,
No one can ever deny his artistry...

It's sad that we don't miss our water
until the well runs dry...
and we don't appreciate genius
until it's too late.

I could speak for hours about
how Michael inspired my life,
how his music got me through some tough times
how he inspired practically every modern artist
how he broke barriers
how misunderstood he was...

Lyrics that read like poetry
and melodies that reel you in,
he had an extraordinary gift.

There will never be another like him.

So, I salute you Michael Joe.
I pray that you are in heaven,
moonwalking through the pearly gates
and I pray that it is everything
you hoped the world would one day be.

Rest In Peace.

Love,
Oronde

Lost In Translation, part deux

2009-06-23T12:52:00.000-07:00

could it be that you hold
the key to my soul
and i never knew it was gone?
or are you the one
whose mere presence begun
my descent into lover's dawn?

all i know is whenever i see you
my throat gets dry
words immersed in my mind get confused
all i can do is stand
idly patient...

...lost in translation

can barely stand it
palms are sweaty, and it
never ends; damn it
wish i could've planned it
she's like a bandit
took my heart and vanished
proverbially damaged
i can hardly manage
i can't explain it
supernova painted
into human form
"woman" he named it
taken from the rib
of man so she could give
him life
but i can't live
until she is my wife...

all i know is whenever i see you
my throat gets dry
words immersed in my mind get confused
all i can do is stand
idly patient...

...lost in translation

Hood Dreams

2009-05-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

ambitions and goals shattered
in the alley way, scattered
amongst the glass and plastic platters
discarded with the garbage...

what matters
most in this neighborhood is survival
where police are the resident rivals
pastors pack pistols with their bibles
and kids become hood dream disciples
thugs and drugs fill the high schools
and most don't give a rodent's mule
ignoring the fact they look the fool
by any means necessary is the rule...

a different world where I come from
down the street beats a different drum
blocks from the riches lies the slum
influencing the man I've become

as the young male protagonist
I constantly wished for a life better than this
world of poverty and potential lives amiss
steady striving to escape the abyss
to prevent being a product of my environment
I dedicated hours and days and weeks spent
to hitting the books and avoiding the hint
that my life was here and was never meant
to leave this hood, this block, this crew
of like-minded morons without a clue
of a life outside the hood, with a view
of a alley, a jail cell, or casket blue...

So I did whatever I needed to do
To remain one of the non-statistic few
To rise up with dreams to pursue
Cause the only way out is the way through...

Inebriate

2009-05-24T23:46:00.000-07:00

I just can’t shake you
You’re in my system
I’m feenin’ for your touch
My future’s looking dim
At times, I hate you
But you make me feel so good
You rape me of my senses
Doin’ things I never thought I would

I can’t breathe
you withdrew my oxygen
Going twelve rounds
knowing I can’t win…

You're my inebriate...

Take me high, then release
I am lower than before
Still, I long for that feeling
The one I can’t ignore
I try to get away
But you always pull me back to you
The fact that I stay
Is what I can’t construe

I’m drowning
in a pool of my dismay
Frustrated yet,
and still I always stay

I gotta shake you...

- Words from my 19 year old self.

Abró Los Ojos...

2009-05-13T18:47:00.000-07:00

Apparently I ain’t shit…

According to the repeated
phrase continuously said by the defeated
female persuasion, I needed,
along with all other males, to be treated
like fecal matter seceded...

Was I the one that hit and quit it
movin’ on without a thought
or a whim, unafraid to get caught
up in the imminent drama sought
by the sister/cousin/brother/mother brought
into the situation by the scorned
woman whose heart was worn
on her sleeve? No.
Yet the stamp of disapproval awaits
me before I even get my words straight
to introduce myself, let alone make
my attempt at the request for a date...

See,
I’m the type of fellow who opens doors
and considers your feelings before
his own, who isn’t looking for more
whenever his duckets cover the bill, or
encouraging the bartender to pour
you into my bedroom door...
You think my kind only explore
the pages of a child’s folklore,
and it’s true we are a dying breed,
but I stand tall for my fellow steed
in announcing our need
for that special mare...

See,
I’m not that brother standing in the corridor
with the fresh kicks, promising Dior
and monetary possessions galore
not knocking if that's what you aim for
it’s all good, but be prepared to pour
yourself a glass of what you abhor...
because with the kicks come kicks
black eyes, bruises, stones and sticks
and words can hurt rather quick
Many a treat has been a trick
whether its mental or physical nicks
what glitters isn’t always gold...

See,
you won’t begin to realize
the difference between real and disguise
Until you open your pretty brown eyes
and see that this caterpillar flies...

...until then,
I ain’t shit.

Before The Day

2009-05-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

I never knew what love was
All I'd had was empty feelings
My existence full of loneliness
Consequences of my dealings

So why is it that I feel no pain
When I look into your eyes
Why has my mind removed disdain
And my soul release its cries

I never felt this way before the day slipped away
As if tomorrow decided to play with yesterday
Our love washed away all my pain and past debris
It's because of you that I am free to see the joy within me

It's the sheer joy of your presence
That has bandaged my despair
Cradled away my imperfections
That I assumed beyond repair

Released the torment from my life
Filling the void with your kiss
Never had I ever experienced
A feeling such as this

I never felt this way before the day slipped away
As if tomorrow decided to play with yesterday
Our love washed away all my pain and past debris
It's because of you that I am free to see the joy within me...

Subconscious

2009-05-06T08:42:00.000-07:00

Submerged in the ocean
of my subconscious she lives
gracefully floating
around unsubmissive
filling my spirit with hope
and removing the pensive
thoughts and fears of my existence,
removing the sensitive
curtains of the past tense
draping my soul with
a celebration to commence
the idea of the ultimate emotion...

Convinced she's the air
to my ailing lung I reach
for her essence
only to find myself beseech
an ambiguous vision
on a fallacious beach
buried deep in my
subliminal thoughts
Inquiring
what on earth brought
me to this daydream...

But then I realize
that the fairy tale I painted
on the canvas that lies
on the easel of my tainted
reality is a disguise
for my repressed anguish
stemming from the eyes
of a wounded soul with
a need for her...

Will my paintbrush ever reveal
the curve of her smile
or will it continue to conceal
her identity from me
The longer the canvas sits vacant
I can only continue to sink
further into my subconscious
where we can be one again...

Journey

2009-05-04T07:42:00.000-07:00

Through the mountains,
the valleys and plains
Through the hailstorms,
the winds and the rains
I continue forward,
in my pursuit
To let you know
that I've been searching for you

I've conquered the lion,
in search of your face
I've battled the dragons,
to feel your embrace
I continue forward...
it's all I can do
To let you know
that I can't live without you

My mission is clear
I'm in search of the key
that unlocks the box
to my destiny...
I am nothing without you
So until I see
your loving face, I'll continue
my journey...

Just out of reach
So close, I can taste you
I'm gaining ground
Until the day I can face you
Your hand in mine,
your left ring finger adorned,
and our hearts will never
apart be torn... (I'll press on)

My mission is clear
I'm in search of the key
that unlocks the box
to my destiny...
I am nothing without you
So until I see
your loving face, I'll continue
my journey...

Vultures

2009-05-03T00:02:00.000-07:00

A young soul past the edge
of seventeen sucked back in,
as if his 22 years met negative 10
and skipped back six paces. Then,
facing a little bit of déjà vu,
he began to suffer through
the very same predicament
he bid adieu to…

The gimmes’ roll off their tongues
so quick, it’s insane; flung
at his head nonstop by the ton…
It’s amazing he doesn’t grab a gun
and end the misery of it all.
It could’ve been his downfall;
instead, he hit it like a baseball
over his memory’s stadium wall

But now the past rushes back
relentlessly, going full force; it yells
“Do this”, “Go there”, “Do that”;
with flailing wings, the vultures expel
a battle cry with a potency
so deadly it could kill a whale…
Now he has to find the energy to either
fight his family or surrender and fail…

He prepares like a warrior whose goal
is to keep everything under control
preventing altercation; the ample soles
of his feet planted firm; his soul
ready for the task at hand:
to protect himself as a liberated man,
So he continues to improvise the plan
as only a willful refugee can…

As the vultures claw at his gift,
wanting Donna Karan for thrift,
he continues to dig and sift
through this ambiguous riff,
searching for that particular song
effortlessly swimming along-
side his pain; paddling strong,
leading him to the place he belongs… the land of

sanity, a place where vanity
never shows its face, where man can be
himself without judgment; he plans to see
everything he can, and be free
to do as he pleases without a mother,
sister-in-law, cousin or brother
trying to force him to be
anything less than the best of me

Status quo busted, the battle must commence.
Mustering my strength for the defense
I proceed forward, much to their dismay;
hence the power struggle is at bay
Deep in combat, there’s pain in my wings
attacks from every side, they’re not sparing a thing
Slowly trailing, I kick it in drive, take a dive
and fight for the right to stay emotionally alive
…I can’t take it!

All I really want is peace
of mind for me, or at least
some sort of decent lease
on life; possibly a priest
to pray for the proverbial beast
in this folklore’s central thesis
cuz I spent too long trying to please
others, disregarding my needs

It’s about time I file the cease
and desist from the increase
of mental anguish I’ve faced
over the years, try to erase
the tears that ran down my face
and the fears I had, and replace
them with the beautiful memories
of the vultures’ hidden grace…

To live my life is the plan, no longer silent
to the vultures, embracing the time I spent
attempting to avoid and circumvent
the inevitable period called the present
Therefore I talk to God and repent,
requesting a bit of his deliverance
from the storm, and a heart of patience
for the good intention of my parents

Perversity runs in my veins,
a battle of which I’ve taken the reins
All I need from you is understanding;
not trying to escape, but I’m standing
alone; don’t want to be demanding
But it’s time you treat me
like the man you raised me to be...

Lost In Translation

2009-05-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

could it be that I've lost
all control of my thoughts
somewhere in the contours of your smile
or is it the way you stroll
along to a silent song
captivating my inner child

language escapes my psyche
at the thought
of what she and i could be...
metaphysical lust overcomes me
drawing me
into my ultimate destiny...

all i know is whenever i see you
my throat gets dry
words immersed in my mind get confused
all i can do is stand
idly patient...

...lost in translation

disoriented
spirit is conflicted
trying to figure out
this strange dimension
don't care to mention
how she got me twisted
up so bad, these feelings
beyond comprehension...
she got me fallin'
took my chips; i'm all in
she got me callin'
Tyrone like I'm wrong, and
she's the villan in
this folklore...
but there's no saving myself
cuz I want more...

all i know is whenever i see you
my throat gets dry
words immersed in my mind get confused
all i can do is stand
idly patient...

...lost in translation

Life...

2009-04-28T23:07:00.000-07:00

My pockets feel like parachutes: full of air
My credit card bill’s sky high, I can’t hide my despair
The cost of livin’ ain’t cheap; I’m knee deep in debt
The world is on my shoulders; life’s a blur of regret
All a part of life

Through my smile, I wear a frown
Got my chin up, but I’m looking down
Don’t nobody know my pain but me
I gotta press through the adversity
It’s all a part of life

The rain is pouring, but I gotta stick it out
To gain prosperity, but I’m having so much doubt
To where I’m headed in this reality of strife
I just shrug it off, and think “This is what they call life”

And I’m stuck in it without parole…

Stuck in a dead-end job, just waiting for the time to pass me by
Searching for peace within this chaos, hopin’ that the lie
That was my life would come back; save me from this
Harsh reality; never believed it when they said “Real Life Ain’t Bliss”

I know that my situation could be so much worse
Than what it is; the worst of my storm has almost passed
Lord, you said you’d never give me more than I can take
But I can’t help but to think that my storm will last

The rain is pouring, but I gotta stick it out
To gain prosperity, but I’m having so much doubt
To where I’m headed in this reality of strife
I just shrug it off, and think “This is what they call life”

And I’m stuck in it without parole…

I know that my situation could be so much worse
Than what it is; the worst of my storm has almost passed
Lord, you said you’d never give me more than I can take
But I can’t help but to think that my storm will last

The rain is pouring, but I gotta stick it out
To gain prosperity, but I’m having so much doubt
To where I’m headed in this reality of strife
I just shrug it off, and think “This is what they call life”

My pockets feel like parachutes: full of air
My credit card bill’s sky high, I can’t hide my despair
The cost of livin’ ain’t cheap; I’m knee deep in debt
The world is on my shoulders; life’s a blur of regret
All a part of life

iMissU

2009-04-27T00:24:00.000-07:00

Love is a journey
Full of it’s ups and downs
It’s unpredictable
This love is buried
Six feet in the ground
Grief is inexplicable

I keep telling myself
That this is for the best
But the truth is…
I miss you

I was so naïve
Thought you were the one
Now I’m sitting here alone
You weren’t right for me
Fantasy come undone
You were all I’d ever known

I keep telling myself
That this is for the best
But the truth is…
I miss you

Unavoidable
We just grew apart
Nothing but trouble
All right from the start

Love is a journey
Full of it’s ups and downs
It’s unpredictable
This love is buried
Six feet in the ground
Grief is inexplicable

I keep telling myself
That this is for the best
But the truth is…
I miss you

Man Up

2009-04-24T23:05:00.000-07:00

I’m usually a closed book
Yet I’m open like a field
Tossed to the side like a rook
In a chess game
How did I let this thing build
Into chaotic stillness
This feels like an illness
I gotta brush these feelings off

I gotta man up
I can’t let her see me hurt
I cannot let her see her affect on me
I gotta man up
I gotta dust off the dirt
Like I used to, and let it be

I gotta pack all my clothes, my gear
Grab my keys and toiletries and go from here
Find a place with tranquility
My soul is burning
So why am I yearning
For her touch…
I gotta brush these feelings off

I gotta man up
I can’t let her see me hurt
I cannot let her see her affect on me
I gotta man up
I gotta dust off the dirt
Like I used to, and let it be

Maybe someday I’ll find someone
To fill the void she left in me
Maybe someday
Someone will set my soul free
When I’m ready, I’ll find her
But I guess until then
I gotta brush these feelings off

I gotta man up
I can’t let her see me hurt
I cannot let her see her affect on me
I gotta man up
I gotta dust off the dirt
Like I used to, and let it be

Repaired

2009-04-22T00:35:00.000-07:00

I’ll remove every ounce of pain from your soul
Try to get rid of your disdain
To take away loneliness from you is my goal
And you will be repaired when I’m through

I can see the pain in your eyes; please don’t hide
I won’t let it lead to your demise
Trust in me, it will be alright; let’s just ride
Darkness will give into the light

Baby, don’t fear
A broken heart (because)
I will be here
Never depart
You’re the only one for me

I’ll remove every ounce of pain from your soul
Try to get rid of your disdain
To take away loneliness from you is my goal
And you will be repaired when I’m through

Baby, don’t fear
A broken heart (because)
I will be here
Never depart from me
Baby, don’t fear
A broken heart (because)
I will be here
Never depart
You’re the only one for me

Love’s a two way street
Full of hills and valleys
Honey, rest your feet
Your pain, I’ll try to carry
You’ve helped me through storms over the years
And now it’s my turn
To ease your fears and dry your tears
Mend your heart, take your concerns
And make them disappear

Baby, don’t fear
A broken heart (because)
I will be here
Never depart from me
Baby, don’t fear
A broken heart (because)
I will be here
Never depart
You’re the only one for me

Average Thing

2009-04-20T00:35:00.000-07:00

saw this lady out the corner of
my eye
strolling leisurely, gravity
defy
flipped her black hair back like
Naomi
a gleam in her eye like she wanna
show me
I can't get down like that, yet I
saunter
from my spot with my boys over
to her
introduced myself and asked for
her name...

and so the conversation

became
more than your
average thing
more than the
average fling
in an
average spring...

chatted a bit, found what we had in
common
musical tastes, the different bands that
i'm in-
to that she likes too
education,
careers, and fears we have as a
nation
really feeling this girl, not like the
others
i wanna take my time to
discover
the key to her steeze, and thank her
mother
for producing this dame...

as we
became
more than your
average thing
more than the
average fling
in an
average spring...

Lost Emotion

2009-04-18T07:56:00.000-07:00

It’s like a maze
With twists and turns
Getting’ scraped and burned
An oxymoron in itself
A roller coaster
Without an end in sight
There’s no fight
In me; I’m losing my health

I wanna find
The state of mind
To be able to love
Wasting time
Nursing my wounds
And thinking of
The lost emotion

Loneliness shouldn’t suffice
Ambiguous clarity would be so nice
Calm as the ocean wide and deep
I search for a glimpse
Of its face
Or its scent
Time well spent
Just looking for its embrace

Venture with me
Into a world where love conquers all
Ride with me
Into a place where love isn’t my downfall
Valentine’s a memory; mistletoe
Extinct; so alone; no friend or foe
Could aid in the search
All I can do is think
Of my lost emotion...

I Gotta Go

2009-04-17T00:56:00.000-07:00

Any move I make
It always seems to be a big mistake
In your dreams for me; I can't escape
God, deliver us from evil, for it rapes
me of my senses...

Lets put it on the table
Cuz the man you hoped I'd be is just a fable
The all-american male you see on cable
And the cost of loving you is the loss of my defenses...

I can't take much more of this insanity...

Lord, my soul is weak
Torn from the secrets of which I must not speak
Therefore I must escape or risk defeat
Or should I remain in the back seat
to spare their feelings...

Haunted by my past
How much longer will these feelings last
Or is my existence doomed to Alcatraz
Lord deliver us from evil, for I can't
continue dealing...
with this...

I gotta break free from this insane situation
I gotta break free; gotta find my destination
And depart from this place I used to call home
I gotta break free; I gotta go...

Goodbye

2009-04-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

Burn me alive, yet I’m intact
No one can hurt me like you
The words you chose damaged my soul
Personal reconstruction is my plan

So I gotta say…

I gotta say…

Sometimes it’s best to sever the ties
Even though we have a history
And in order for me to succeed
I gotta control my own destiny

So I gotta say…

I gotta say…

There was a time when I needed you
A time when you were always on my mind
But now I’m stronger and wiser
And without you, I’ll be just fine

Burn me alive, yet I’m intact
No one can hurt me like you
The words you chose damaged my soul
Personal reconstruction is my plan

So I gotta say…

I gotta say…

...goodbye.